Forever Is
by Caera1996
Summary: On the day of Jim and Bones' wedding, Joanna helps Jim make a decision that will further shape their forever. Just a bit of fluff for a friend.


Title: Forever Is  
Author: Caera1996  
Rating: PG  
Disclaimer: Not mine  
Summary: On their wedding day Jim makes another decision that will shape their forever.

Note: For just_jane_doe - A small token of my heartfelt appreciation.

* * *

The quiet murmur of the crowd that had gathered in one of Enterprise's larger rec. rooms faded as the doors slid closed behind Jim with a faint _swoosh._ Looking around the smaller room, he caught sight of her. Curled up on a wide ledge, hand and nose pressed to the glass, Joanna was transfixed by the beauty of Earth from this vantage point. Smiling slightly at how different father and daughter were in this respect, Jim hesitated. He was torn between his insecurity over how she viewed him and his desire to be accepted. He smirked and rolled his eyes at himself, completely able to see the irony in the situation.

Jim Kirk had dealt with Romulans, Klingons, and many others who felt less than friendly towards him and the Federation he represented, without flinching. But it was a 12-year-old girl who had the power to make him doubt himself.

All he could see from where he stood was her back – long and lean like her mother's, dark hair so like her father's – and she hadn't realized he was there yet. He could retreat, and send Bones in here to see if she was okay and ready to get started. He could, but he didn't really want that. Taking a breath, he moved more fully into the room, clearing his throat to alert her that he was there. She started slightly and looked over her shoulder.

"Hey, there Joanna. Sorry if I scared you," he said. She held his eyes for a moment before turning back to the window.

"It's okay," she replied. "I didn't hear you come in." He came to stand beside her, hands clasped loosely behind his back. She looked up at him and turned so she was sitting with her back to the window, feet not quite touching the floor. "Is it time?" she asked. He sat beside her and shrugged.

"It's time when we say so. Can't have the ceremony without us, you know?" Joanna chuckled and Jim smiled. "So…are you ready?" She nodded and bit her lip, keeping her eyes focused on her hands in her lap. Jim quietly observed her body language and hesitantly put an arm around her, thrilled and relieved when she leaned into him. She was obviously feeling ill at ease about something, but it didn't appear to be about _him_ – for which he was incredibly grateful.

He wanted this. He wanted to do this so much, and it felt right and natural and just the way it should be…but he didn't know if he could marry Bones if Joanna didn't want it. He loved both McCoys too much to come between them like that, especially since he wanted to be a part of her life too. If that meant waiting to make things official…well, he could live with that, even if he didn't really like it.

"You okay?" he asked, giving her a little squeeze.

"Yeah…just thinking."

"Wanna share?" Joanna bit her lip and looked up at him, hazel eyes giving away more than she probably intended.

"I just wish you and Daddy didn't have to leave again. I – I miss you when you're gone," she said, glancing away as a few tears escaped only to get caught in her lashes before slipping down her cheeks. Smiling slightly, Jim gently wiped the tears off her cheeks with his fingers.

Their five year mission was coming to a close in the next year and a half, and though it hadn't really been decided yet, both he and Bones were looking forward to a time when they could be closer to Joanna, and still be able to watch her grow up and really be a part of her life. Bones was careful not to influence him or push him, and Jim was coming to terms with what that would mean for him…giving up his ship for more freedom, giving up being a captain for a more complete life. And he never, ever thought that a "more complete" life could be anything other than what he already had, but Joanna's admission was enough to tilt the scales.

"Well," he said lightly, "I feel the same way. And of course your dad does too. And…I think that it's not going to be too much longer."

"Really?" Joanna asked, the hope and happiness at the idea tangible. He felt it settle in his heart the same way the decision to marry Bones had – as something so natural and right there wasn't room for any doubt. There would always be planets to visit and star systems to discover. Joanna would have only one childhood, and they would have only one chance to experience it with her. He wasn't about to make the same mistake Winona had, or be the cause for Bones to make that mistake either. How could he, loving him as much as he did?

"Really," Jim replied, as certain of this now as he was of what they were going to do today. "Now…if you're ready, why don't you go tell Nyota and Spock that we're going to get started in five minutes, okay?"

"Okay," she said, standing. Doing a little twirl for him, she looked over her shoulder. "How do I look?"

"Absolutely gorgeous. I'm going to have to beat the boys off with a stick," Jim said, smiling as she giggled and flushed. He stood and did his own twirl. "How about me?"

"Very handsome," she said, and then hugged him tightly. Jim held her, one hand gently smoothing her hair.

"Okay, you two…if we don't hurry I'm afraid Scotty might start singing," Bones said. Jim looked over at him in surprise, wondering how long he'd been standing there.

"Daddy!" Joanna exclaimed, running over to him. "You look very handsome, too." He wrapped her in his arms and held on, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. After a moment, he released her and sent her on her way to let Nyota and Spock know that they'd be getting started, and then turned to Jim. He walked over to Bones, and reached to smooth his hands over his shoulders and down his arms.

"Joanna's right…you are very handsome," Jim said. Bones caught his hands and held him.

"Jim…I heard what you said. Did you…did you mean it? Because to get Joanna's hopes up…"

"I mean it, Bones. I mean it," he said quickly. He leaned in to kiss Bones and pulled back after a moment. "For a long time I couldn't imagine my life as anything but this." He gestured, meaning the ship and his position, and everything that went along with it. "But you've shown me how much more there is…and I've seen how much you've given up. I want you and Joanna. I want you both…more than I ever thought I would. More than I want this." Bones searched Jim's eyes and saw nothing but that complete certainty that he'd come to rely on out here, and knew in his heart that Jim wasn't just talking.

They were getting married today, and their forever was going to include his daughter…and the realization of how much he and Joanna meant to Jim was enough to take his breath away.


End file.
